DAILY DRAMA: An Explosive Package That’s Actually A Penis, Plus Lady Gaga Gets Naked (Again)

Happy Wednesday to all of you, or as the pervs call it, hump day.

If you’re looking for today’s most talked about stories and the juiciest gossip, consider yourself lucky, I just saved you five clicks through People.com and kept TMZ off your internet history.

Oh and I’ve cut through the malarkey as well…

Without further ado, your Daily Drama for Wednesday July 18th, 2012:

The TSA, also known as “those people who feel you up before every flight” (with the back of their hand mind you), apparently freaked out over the size of a man’s penis. The crack staff mistook the man’s junk for a pistol, at least a literal one, and sounded the horn at San Francisco International Airport.

When asked what the bulge was in his pants, Jonah Falcon responded:

“It’s my dick…They gave me a pat down but made sure to go around [my penis]…They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing.”

So not only is Falcon hung like a horse, his package is possibly considered explosive. Falcon wasn’t charged for a crime, but whether or not he was responsible for an extra carry on was neither denied nor confirmed.

Speaking of awkward moments, Lady Gaga made a splash by posing nude in an advertisement promoting her new fragrance. What does the perfume smell like, you say?

“Like an explosive hooker” says Gaga…

It’s been a while since I’ve smelled an explosive hooker, but if its anything like the last one, it certainly should help anyone snap out of a concussion or a near death experience.

Speaking of which, the photo of Gaga posing nude is available above; first the olfactory senses and now your eyesight. If Gaga’s tunes haven’t killed your hearing than for her final trick she’ll find a way to numb your fingers — my guess is through a limited edition iPod that doubles as a nice vibrator…for your sore muscles.

Finally, and boy do I mean finally, Anne Hathaway was caught kissing on a New York subway…and by caught I mean she only forgot to wink.

For those of you wondering why your random make out session or trip to second base, either while on public transit or at random sporting event didn’t make the tabloids, you should know that Hathaway’s kiss comes on the brink of The Dark Knight Rises releasing in a matter of days.

So unless there’s a reason we should be watching you kiss, either because we really hate you, think you’re kind of pretty in a cute sorta way, or just like The Princess Diaries, stick to the kiss cam for now.

So there you have it, please consider sharing this with your neighbor, friend, or mutual equivalent. If this post doesn’t get you five likes your Drama is free.*

*(deal currently not available on the internet).

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